“Tax Attacks”
By John McGondel

“Don't worry about it. It could never happen..." Although the Secretary of the treasury tried his dead level best to sound believable, he didn't quite pull it off.

"How can you say that, Frank! We've been hearing a lot, and I mean a whole lot, of talk about this. Heck, man, the major supermarkets are selling out as fast as they can restock. People are buying non-perishables at a rate of ten times compared to that of last month. I have a market index here, dated today. There are runs on, get this, batteries, candles, blankets, matches, salt, books, even bicycles! Wow, include fishing equipment, guns and ammunition in there too. A lot of it, Frank."

Stephen Queen, White House aide, sat down to let the Secretary of the U.S. Treasury digest this latest bit of information. Then he spoke up again: "Here it is Frank. Do you want to know what ain't selling? How about clothes, cars, anything electrical, frozen food, furniture, recreational items, music recordings. Frank, this list just goes on. He tossed the computer printout onto the Secretary's desk, and sat himself down heavily in a chair.

Frank Mulligan, U.S. Treasury Secretary, spoke up: "Now look, Steve, this cannot be happening. This guy is an imbecile. Who's going to really follow him?"

"Frank?"

"Yes?"

"Have you read the book?"

"Well, not exactly..."

"Read it now, Frank! Cancel your appointments, and hold all calls. Okay? Please do me this one small favor?"

"Okay, all-right!" Frank picked up the book. It was a thin, cheap looking paper-back. But he did read it. And he read it again. When he was done, he sent for the White House aide, all the while hoping that no-one would ever take those writings of an obvious mad-man seriously. Or would they?

White House aide Stephen Queen came back in and sat down. Frank was shaking his head. He asked Steve: "It cannot happen. Please tell me so?"

"Frank: It's already done. We can't stop it. The damage is done! This guy broke no laws. Why, heck man, he even predicted this conversation. Remember what he predicted in the story about what should happen if he were to mysteriously disappear?"

Frank nodded miserably, washing an aspirin down with some liquid antacid. Then he asked:

"Well, gee, Steve, what the heck CAN we do? Huh?. Money will be useless. This will bring chaos, anarchy, turmoil... It'll take years to sort out."

"Sort of like the FIRST American Revolution, huh?"

Frank looked at his friend, and said: "That's not funny, Steve. I dare you to mention that to the boss!"

"Now, now, Frank, calm down. I'm just saying that I think that this book has become the blueprint for a revolution. And I think that it will succeed, and if enough people follow it, the country just might even get itself reorganized in a much more effective manner."

"Are you nuts?!! That's socialism! Everything will grind to a standstill. You gotta be kidding me! What about defense? Huh?"

"Against who? The USSR is over. Who else besides terrorists can or would hurt us?" He continued, "Face it Frank, the damage is done, who could have known that enough people would care enough or be smart enough to read and follow a college thesis? Now, we must make plans for taking care of our families. There is a storm coming, and we have to prepare..."

(Meanwhile)

"Oh man, look at these boxes of faxes! Man!" Matt was excited, as was his brother, Dave. They high-fived each other, dancing around the room. Then Matt said: “Look man, we gotta move, and now. They’re tracing the fax lines faster than I thought that they could. Let's Go!"

They had all of the equipment broken down and loaded in record time. Matt washed down the room to remove their finger-prints, even though they had taken pains to wear gloves at all times...

"Where to now, genius?" Matt needled his brother, smiling.

Dave responded, choosing to ignore the jab. "To the farm, my brother!" They slapped hands, and headed towards home, far upstate in northern New York. To the family farm. The miles rolled by, and Dave drifted off, thinking of his thesis, and its consequences...

It wasn't a complicated idea, by any means. Especially for a college newspaper. He had meant it to be a series of political hypotheses. Sort of a contemporary Thoreau-type commentary, about non-violent civil-disobedience. A WHAT IF? story. Boy oh boy had he ever been wrong! A simple story about a bunch of fictitious left-over characters from the sixties revolution, such as the YAF, SDS, Black Panthers, SLA, other political activists and radicals, and an at least equal number of disgusted and fed-up members of the general citizenry. Promoting a Federal Government shutdown. Which was due to start on the next April fifteenth: TAX DAY.

The story line was relatively straight forward. An easily understood matter of cause and effect. He had postulated that if the citizens of the U.S. followed certain courses of action, that the government would be impacted in a predictable way. The particular courses of action included the not filing or paying of any Federal taxes, starting on April fifteenth; the removal of all monies from banks and other financial institutions; the converting of all privately held paper currency to things like gold, silver, diamonds, valuable art and antiques, canned food, etc; and the non-payment of utility and insurance bills.

The impact on the government would be rather predictable. First it would panic and begin a witch hunt. Then it would run out of money. And it wouldn't be able to arrest everyone anyway. The soldiers would side with their fellow citizens. Those who didn't, would soon do so when they stopped getting paid and fed. Federal employees would quit. The banks would collapse like in 1929. The utilities would shut down, with no money to pay employees or to maintain equipment. And last but not least, the federal government would seize up like an engine without oil.

Meanwhile the individual states would take care of themselves, running things like the National Guard, hospitals, nursing homes etc. And the eventual restart of utilities under the individual states’ management. They could negotiate between themselves, governor to governor, to reorganize a coast to coast defense system, managed by a board made up of one member from each state, each with equal voting power.

Everything would start from zero. Everyone would be recovering from bankruptcy. Mortgages would be wiped out. There would be a brief period of discomfort and violence. People would have to protect themselves and their belongings for this short time. What the heck, a little bit of good old- fashioned frontier justice would clear out a lot of society's trouble makers. That's why everyone was expected to store up on weapons, food, and ammunition. To wait out the bad time.

Then, with a new fresh start, the country would be revitalized, stronger. No more of this two percent controlling the ninety eight percent. No deficit. And the bankers, politicians, lawyers, bureaucrats, slumlords and the like would fade away almost overnight. Dave had thought it was a good story, that's all. Just an interesting idea. Who would’ve thought?

They turned a corner, and there was the farm in all its primitive glory. Two hundred acres of pristine valleys, gently rolling fields, with clear and sweet streams. He and Matt had inherited it from their parents. Debt free. Low, almost nonexistent real estate taxes. Eden. Dave had always felt truly sorry for those not as fortunate...

He waved at the two people that eased out from the woods. One was a young girl with a shotgun, the other was a boy of about twenty with a deer rifle. They saluted him back with their guns, and the Jeep proceeded towards the main house, scattering chickens along the way. Children were in the yard were performing their individually assigned chores. Water to livestock, wood for stoves, gathering eggs, cleaning stalls, and other kids' things. Anyone over the age of twelve was either studying, working the land, doing maintenance, cooking or otherwise engaged in some form of productive endeavor. Each according to his or her abilities. Uncle Will had one leg and one arm, from Vietnam. So he was a teacher and the gunsmith.

At the house, Matt killed the ignition and he and Dave climbed out of the jeep. As they stretched their legs, Dave's girl, Jenny, came out to survey them, smiling: "So, you been stirring up the hornets’ nests again, huh?" She was beautiful when she smiled.

Dave looked hurt. "How can you say that! Here we stand, one step ahead of the Blue Meanies, wrongfully accused by our beloved country of various crimes against our own country! And is there even so much as a hug waiting? No, no. Just unfounded allegations, from a suspicious woman. One, count it, one simple story for a college newspaper and the country goes nuts! Thank god that I didn't write anything serious..."

He was shut up by a big wet kiss and a spine-cracking hug. He had temporarily forgotten how strong she was. By then, the thirty or so members of the farm’s collaborative had wound their way towards the porch.

Dave addressed them all: "How about we dine outside tonight?" This was met with cheers and applause. While the two brothers washed up and grabbed a couple of home brewed beers, a feast was quickly set up outside.

"How do you know that they won't try to shut you up?" Jenny was speaking to Dave, who was busy wolfing down a stuffed pepper.

"Well, doll-face, I'll tell you. Because the cat's out of the bag. Every-body who wants to, has had a chance to read the story. Heck, it's even on the net. This thing is rolling on its own. I'm not encouraging or discouraging it. If something were to happen to me now, it would only help to strengthen the movement. They should have silenced me before the story got printed. This isn't my thing anymore, I'm just watching from the sidelines, like you, my little buttercup." He started in on another pepper.

Jenny looked from one to the other. "You two don't fool me for a single minute! I don't know what you've been up to, and the stock market is going crazy!"

"Oh, yeah, Sis? How?" Matt asked with as straight a face as he could muster.

"Don't give me that innocent little boy look. You're both a couple of sneaky weasels!" She scowled at them.

"The stock market, you say, huh?.." (He knew her weakness.)

"Oh yeah. Futures are down drastically, probably due to anticipated distribution problems. As are the Blue Chips. Foreign investing is falling fast. As for the retail markets: Livestock is moving real well. As is all sporting goods, especially firearms and canned food." She looked at Dave and smiled.

"Good work, for a woman." He had to duck in order to avoid a salt-shaker, and the probable wound it would have caused.

"Okay, Okay! I'm tired, and I‘ve gotta get some sleep. Keep me company or not, it's up to you. Tomorrow's a big day, and I don't wanna miss it..."

(The next day: Washington, D.C)

"Look, how about we grab this idiot, and force him to call the whole thing off?" Frank was grasping at straws.

"Frank, you read the book. He predicted that. He gave instructions about what to do. Gee, at least this way, there's some form of government left. And anyhow, he didn't break any laws. He can't be charged with any crime. He only wrote a story, and who was to know that so many people would take it so seriously?"

"This just plain stinks, Steve."

"Heck, Frank. It hasn't even started yet."

They stared at each other, and sipped their martinis, each imagining the future. Steve knew that the President, idiot that he was, was prepared to respond in the same fashion as he would to a nuclear attack.. He could stay underground like a gopher as long as he wanted. But back up topside, his power structure would be long gone. A near perfect example of Darwinian theory...

It all started slowly, and almost went unnoticed. Some early-birds stopped paying bills in late March. Virtually all bank accounts were withdrawn by April first. Then, on April fifteenth, the government's worst fears were confirmed. Federal tax filings were off by over eighty-four percent.

There went the ballgame. Foreign governments became very nervous, as their ships piled up in U.S. harbors. Some turned home. Some were ordered not to even bother to leave their ports of origin. It resembled a game of dominoes. Eventually the utility companies slowed to a stop. This caused the supermarkets to thaw out. Water supplies were reduced to whatever could be drawn using generators, hand pumps, or with buckets from streams, rivers, ponds, and lakes.

Roving gangs tried to rob food and property, moving from neighborhood to neighborhood. They were usually shot to death. Except in the cities, where they hadn't counted on the ever ready and well prepared National Guard. The punk gangs died inglorious deaths. Since the target of the whole revolution was the federal bureaucracy, the states could still run themselves fine.

The filtering down process took some time. The banks and lending institutions closed down. People whom had been paying mortgages totaling four hundred and fifty thousand dollars over thirty years, after only borrowing one hundred and fifty thousand, now owned their own homes outright. There was plenty of work, since no imports were let into the country. The states collected taxes through a bartering or volunteer process, and the states took care of their own problems.

All debts were wiped out. One big enema of a bankruptcy. Not even a national debt. Any outside country which objected, didn't get U.S. food...

It was the beginning of a stronger, newer, revitalized America. Just as the first American Revolution had shed the British yoke of tyranny, this revolution had loosened the stranglehold of the big-business, corporate, insurance company dominated money pit that the government had become twisted into.

Back on the farm, Dave was remarking to his brother Matt: "Who would ever have thought that so many people would follow the advice of an unknown writer?" Matt just shook his head slowly, in silent agreement. Then he had a thought: "Hey, Dave?"

"What?"

"Do you want to hear about my next idea?”

" Yeah, sure, okay. What is it?"

"Now we gotta fix the Middle East, otherwise those terrorist idiots are gonna screw up everything we just did!"